This is how you know us: We not only deliver first-class spices and herbs, but also well-researched reports and lifehacks (for the elderly: tips and tricks!) Out of absolute passion. A matter of honor!
That is why we are using our wide-reaching media presence again to prepare our fans and followers for upcoming events, because it will be creepy and nerve-wracking again. The average intelligent reader has probably already recognized what is blooming from the cover picture: Halloween is just around the corner.
This means that “Uncle Sam” sends out gangs of underage gangs in scary costumes to use the distinctive saying “trick or treat” to blackmail candy from Germany’s front doors. Yeah right! Uncle Sam. the index finger swinging charm with the fashionable red / white / blue stars and stripes suit from the Harald Glööckler collection for adults with ADHD. The mastermind that Mickey Mouse and Cola Santa Claus sent us !!
If you don’t take part, you immediately get stress with the diabetes mafia. It is not uncommon for entire houses to be “redecorated” with eggs and toilet paper (the cheap, single-ply one with the beige coloring from the school toilet) in order to “change the mind” of the residents for the follow-up visit of the next collection driver, who is usually just a few minutes later. Even the guys with the watchtower are more careful!
The sad consequences every year:
Millions of homes suffer from high cholesterol. Contractors have been raising the alarm for a long time!
Old people (those to whom you also have to explain lifehacks, see above!) Fall over like flies, because they actually expect singing children at this time of year (everything used to be better and less creepy!).
Overwhelmed teachers who have to make do with children who are completely over the top and sugar-coated even weeks later.
Nobody more subscribes to TV magazines at the front door. The fear is too great who rings the bell …
The laughing third parties are large corporations like the Hartkorn spice mill, which shamelessly exploit the trend with pumpkin spices and Halloween recipes and make millions of profits. And dentists. Dentists always benefit! Really!
So if the fat Kevin from the neighboring house with his caries gang in uninspired, discarded carnival costumes is at the door to blackmail his stuff, we have a few tips (yes, lifehacks! You got it!) For you:
Simply chain the unvarnished mother-in-law into the door frame. Let’s see WHO scares whom!
Pour hot pumpkin soup (we have a great pumpkin spice! Just have a look in our online shop) from the window over the front door. You can shout “SAURES”.
While tipping sweets into the sack, smilingly point out how infinitely grateful you are that you can finally distribute the camels from Carnival `98 to those in need …
In the best Jack Nicholson manner, smile and ask: “Kevin? Do you actually know how beautiful your mom can scream? ”Come on, it’s Halloween after all and fun has to be.
Did you know that we sell pumpkin spice?
(Things in parentheses look particularly funny!)
Even though some of these tips will only bear fruit in the following year, we can say from experience that with these methods we were able to reduce the ringing rate at this unspeakable festival to a minimum. Eat it, Uncle Sam! With this in mind, we wish you a tolerable Halloween!
P.S .: If you also have tips for us with which you can get rid of the bell-friendly horror cabinet, write us in the comments! We’re glad. MUAHAHAHA !!
P.P.S .: (pumpkin spice !!)
