Dangerous times require extreme measures. That is why we do not want to write anything about spices at this point, but use our reach to warn you, dear readers and customers: It is imminent, the so-called 5th season, or “Carnival” and “Mardi Gras”. Hundreds of thousands secretly belong to a terrible carnival cult. This in turn is divided into splinter groups, cells or smaller sects. These smaller groups are called “carnival clubs” and usually have different colors to identify the individual members. This is also known from the criminal gang scene. The scary thing about this cult is that everyone can be a member: your grumpy neighbor, the salesperson in the drugstore, even clergymen or your own family members could be part of these groups. They behave inconspicuously all year round and then show their true selves at carnival time.
Completely disturbed eyewitnesses report the same horror and perfidious actions every year that freeze the blood in their veins. For example, long before the actual Rose Monday, it is tradition for the bloodthirsty females of the cult to use scissors to attack your office colleagues. The victims are usually completely surprised and many can only save themselves with the help of their tie. Fortunately, most of the time it is cut ties.
Another popular tradition among carnivalists is costumes. Depending on the psychological background and preferences, the individual chooses his disguise himself to reveal himself to other members. Zombies, monsters, Indians, police officers and even clowns are very popular. Whether you like scalping, eating human flesh or thrashing people with rubber truncheons, there is the right disguise for every dark fantasy. The cruelest of the cultists choose the clown. Any interested and nervous reader should take a look at the disturbing 1993 documentary “ES” or the new edition of the renowned scientist Stephen King, published in 2017. The film shows in an impressively creepy way the disturbing life of the passionate clown “Pennywise” and his lust for murder. We still dreadfully remember the big “killer clown” controversy in 2016. People all over the world were disguised as clowns throughout the year. The sad climax of those who no longer wanted to live out their hideousness only at Carnival.
So the hustle and bustle comes to a head before Rose Monday: Carnivalists often gather in so-called “meetings”. The largest of these sessions are even broadcast live on television. Here, hand-made speakers repeatedly appear who torture the nervous costumes of the spectators at home with completely unpleasant speeches in the Cologne dialect. Again and again the cameras also show the audience, who obviously cheers on the torturer with laughter and applause and, laughing at the tormented souls in front of the TV sets, laughs.
The highlight is the annual Mardi Gras parades. During this time, Rhenish cities like Cologne, Düsseldorf or Mainz should be ABSOLUTELY AVOIDED! Fired by thousands of cultists, the larger clubs move through the cities with gigantic chariots and foot groups. Kim Jong Un’s military parades look ridiculous against it. The best way to describe the situation is as follows: pure anarchy! The onlookers on the side of the road are mostly heavily drunk. Many would like to take a look at it, others can hardly stand their own goings-on and take refuge in the intoxication. The authorities throw solid objects from the chariots themselves, wrapped in candy wrapping paper. The sad thing is that most people push their OWN CHILDREN into the front rows for self-protection and thus helplessly expose the fatal hail of candy. Many can just protect themselves with plastic bags over their heads, but these are often full after a few minutes and no longer offer protection. Again and again the people on the roadside and in the parade roar loudly “Alaaf, Helau or Olau” (due to regional reasons) in order to get more and more into the gruesome hustle and bustle.
There are leaders in every city. These usually consist of a financially strong prince and court. You then sit in the most magnificent of all chariots at the end of the parade and indulge in the devastation and destruction that the preceding train has caused. Helpless police officers and firefighters accompany the hustle and bustle side by side, but have no chances against the spurred masses and are therefore rather passively calm.
Afterwards the participants get lost in the local pubs and taverns where, thank heaven, they are only among themselves. On “Ash Wednesday” everything will be over and the carnivalists will become people like you and me again until the next year they can live out their cruelest interior.
The result afterwards is always devastating: Mountains of garbage, tooth decay and alcohol poisoning are still the lesser evils, time and again people also report unwanted pregnancies and destroyed marriages and relationships. One can only hope that through increasing education, education and deterrence fewer and fewer people will fall into the vicious circle of this cruel cult in the future. Many come into contact with it for the first time in innocent childhood. Until then, dear readers, remain vigilant and attentive. The clowns are lurking everywhere again these days!
